Funny of the Night

Jarvis just asked our 10-year-old the following:

"QB, do you want to use the Walkman?"

Answer:

"What's that?"

Oh, we're so old.

AWOL iPad

My son lost my iPad this week. He left it at Walgreen's, you see, after he set it down to take a closer look at the water guns. Who wouldn't?

Regardless, I'm one angry bird.

So now, to decide on a suitable punishment. I'm thinking I'll make him read all his books the old-fashioned way instead of on a touchscreen. Oh, the horror. That ought to teach him a thing or two.

Funny of the Day

Miss Mopsy has a toothache. It might have something to do with the fact that she got a filling the other day (well, three actually, but that's another story) and felt something hard come out while chewing a piece of gum.

Anyway, she's having a hard time munching food on the right side of her mouth where her sore tooth resides. Most sensibly, I suggested she chew on the other side of her mouth.

"I can't!" she told me. "I'm a rightie!"

Quite a Cake!

I have to post this picture of the cake my kids made for me for my birthday. It was too funny. It doesn't look like it, but there actually was an adult involved in the assembling of this confection.

It was very delicious, though. We're all fighting over the last piece. I think I'm going to go eat it right now....

Big News

Our little first grader was on the news the other day. Her class has pen pals in Sendai and Channel 5 sent a news crew to her classroom. (Yes, it's a shameless attempt to find a local connection to a tragedy halfway around the world, but the kids look adorable.) I don't know how they made them look like such little angels. The camera does more than add ten pounds, apparently.

http://www.king5.com/news/quake/Children-write-letters-of-comfort-to-Sendai-118134884.html

A Delivery Guy by Any Other Name....

So the pizza delivery guy called me up when he was en route referred to himself as the "pizza technician." Technician! I nearly burst out laughing before I restrained myself (a new one for me.)

If you're going to call yourself that, you'd better have some serious technical skills -- something more than being able to plug in a computer or drive a car. In that case, we'd all be technicians. Carrying a pizza from your maroon Chevy Impala to my front door does not a technician make.

So what's next, will the supermarket bagger become the "grocery packaging technician"? Maybe the gas station worker who pumps gas can call himself the "automotive fuel technician." And the kid at McDonald's can be the "beef lard technician."

I'm going to start calling myself a "laundry technician", a "snack-production technician" and a "child-mediation technician."

Quotable Curry

Does anyone say dumber things than Ann Curry? Aside from George Bush, no one comes to mind. Every day she throws out a doozy. It continues to amaze me why they let this gal read the news when she can't ever get through a segment without stumbling over her words. But she's even worse when she's ad-libbing. Stick to the script, Ann!

This morning, after a segment on the ritzy and expensive new Frank Gehry building in Manhattan, which included information on rental pricing:

Curry: "Rent! Gosh, it looks like people'd want to buy one. Okay, thanks so much, Natalie, this morning. If we could all afford it." Ah, she must have remembered that pesky recession.

Smooth, Ann. Well said.

Here was yesterday:

"The economy is such a huge, we talk about this every day, issue."

Insightful!