My latest column for Westport Patch:
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Why is it still cool to dis the 'burbs?
I was at a brunch at a friend's house in the city the other day when a rude woman made the most obnoxious comment. Someone was talking about how Dubai was an awful place to live because the people were shallow, the city had no culture and was all about shopping.
Rude Woman said gleefully, "That's how I feel about the suburbs!"
Yes, she knew that my family and I live happily in Westport. It was brunch with just three families, so I'm pretty sure Rude Woman didn't happen to just forget we were just across the table from the croissants and bacon.
I was so tempted to call her out, to let her know that her remark hadn't slipped by unnoticed and that, yes, she was offensive. Some people seem to think that it's acceptable to slip rude and insulting comments into a convivial conversation, passing it off as humor.
I'd have to argue otherwise.
The suburbs are always the brunt of the joke and I'm tired of it. Inevitably, the outlying areas are always considered less cool than their more crowded counterparts. I've lived in both dense urban areas like Manhattan and L.A. and sleepier 'burbs — so I've seen both ways of life.
I've had my fill of urban condescension, of the knowing looks between city-dwellers that conveys the silent message: The poor things. They buy their clothes at Wal-Mart and consider McDonald's a restaurant! Oh, if only they knew what life is like in the grown-up world.
This geographical culture war reminds me of how San Francisco considers itself superior to Los Angeles, and New York turns down its nose on New Jersey. It reminds me of how Sarah Palin draws lines in the sand, defining some states and locations as "good, hard working America" and others as hotbeds of evils like liberalism and media elite. Enough, already.
So let's set the record straight, shall we? We actually do have restaurants way out here in the wilds of Connecticut. Pretty decent ones. The New York Times has even trekked way out to the boonies to review some. Imagine that! I get to sample all the best eateries in town each week for this very Web site and I still haven't eaten everywhere worth trying.
And yes, we do have some cultural stimulation. Every night in the summer, for instance, we have live music on Jesup Green. There's jazz, classical, contemporary – anything you could possibly want. It's free and we don't have to stand in line for 10 hours to get tickets. Then there's our playhouse, which has theater that I'd argue rivals New York's, with top-notch directors, playwrights and actors such as Gene Wilder, Richard Dreyfuss, Paul Newman, and Julia Roberts. Just think of it as really off-Broadway, but with convenient parking.
And while we're breaking it down, doesn't Manhattan now have Target, Sears and Costco -- virtual suburban icons? Oh, and I do believe there is a Chuck E. Cheese right off 125th Street. Explain thatone. Add that to the rodent problem and persistent cab smog and you're not feeling so superior now, are you, Rude Woman?
The truth is, you can live in the city and never do anything other than eat take-out on the couch in front of reality TV. And you can live in the suburbs and do just the opposite.
I'd argue that in a place like Westport, we have the best of both worlds. We can head to Manhattan for a night or two and go to Lincoln Center or Per Se, if we planned a year in advance. And then we come home and spend our weekends riding bikes, tending our vegetable gardens, and relaxing on our own beach (without spending four hours on the L.I.E. to get there).
So, New Yorkers, don't feel too bad for us out here in Connecticut. We've got it better than you think. Then again, maybe we'd rather you continue to believe it a shallow, cultural wasteland, so no one else will get the bright idea to move out here.
Especially Rude Woman.
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