Dancing, No More

I'm confused.
What's with all the dry ice on the Dancing with the Stars final? And what's with Nicole and Evan being dropped down on the dance floor in some sort of glass pumpkin, spherical thing? It's all very Solid Gold, and not in a good way.

And then Kate Gosslin ended her silly dance by jumping up on some sort of platform that raised her up above the floor. Baffling. Also, the camera must have been convex (or concave?) making her face look really weird.

I mean, come on. We've had fans and spotlights and feathers and people being lowered down from the ceiling. And were those plums of fire at the end? Or fireworks? Enough with the gimmicks, already. I liked it better when this was a dance show, not a cheeseball extravaganza.

And on the subject of Kate, I was so excited when I remembered she'd be back tonight, just because I evilly love to watch her botch up a dance. And she delivered on that. The opening number was hilarious! First, they had her bopping in place on the stairs. She wasn't even on beat. Then, at the end of the dance, all she had to do was walk up to the front of the stage and do a simple little backwards skip with her partner Tony. Instead, she clomped up toward the camera and just stopped, as if she was waiting for someone to tell her what to do next! Tony was pulling her backward, trying to get her to join him in, I don't know, actually performing some dance moves instead of stomping around the floor aimlessly. Priceless.  If you recorded it, you've got to watch that part again.

She did look pretty, though.

But Buzz might have been more embarrassed than Kate tonight. They put the poor old guy in a jumpsuit covered with rhinestones and had him "dance" to the Star Wars theme. Hard to watch, that one.

But Nicole. Nicole rocked it as usual. Anyone with eyes could tell that she'd be the winner within the first 3 seconds of her very first dance. Evan is graceful and smooth and coordinated, but there's no comparison.

The rest of the season has just been academic.