Sold!

We had our silent auction for Mopsy's nursery school last night. I am SO glad it's over as, naturally, I was the chairperson. This is the list of all my sundry volunteering tasks this year: Bingo Night and Art Smarts at QB's school. For Mopsy's pre-school: I'm on the Board, chair of the auction and also Room Mom despite initially turning the job down. (Instead, they gave the duty to a mother who has MS and really doesn't have the energy for any of this nonsense. Enter me, stage left.) Oh, and I also volunteered to work on the silent auction for an amazing girls' foster home called Project Return. In short, I'm over-committed and probably do a half-assed job on all of them. Note to self: Do Not Make This Mistake Next Year.

So back to last night. All was going well, despite a small mutiny in the kitchen and brewing fist-fight between two moms. (I found this much more entertaining than the actual party.) Our "theme" was the 60s, but the gal in charge of decorations decided single-handedly to dump that and instead go in the direction of a garden party with asian influences. (That's as diplomatic as I can be.) But okay, whatever. It wasn't a big enough deal to get upset about it. Jarv had been recruited as auctioneer for the live auction. I was significantly more nervous about it than he was. He kept asking, "Do you really think I'm worried about talking in front of a bunch of parents?" Yeah, I guess he's used to speaking at big corporate conferences. So 60 semi-drunk moms and dads in the church rec room was probably not that big of a deal.

And he did great, (despite popping out early in the night to fetch a bottle of scotch for he and a buddy.) I wasn't planning on bidding on any of the big-ticket items. But a friend shamed me after she spent $400-ish on a garden cart with kids' handprints and I hadn't even bidded on Mopsy's class project: a Jackson Pollack-esque splatter painting. It was cute and all, but did I want to spend $200 for it? Not particularly.

The last item came up for bid -- a small plane ride for two from Connecticut to Montauk and back. On stage, Jarv was really talking it up: a day on the beach, lobsters at sunset. And I love Montauk. $350 seemed like a pretty good deal. So I raised my hand. Jarvis, shook his head but reluctantly announced, "$350 from the woman in the back." Then someone raised to $400. I went to $450. Jarv was trying to signal me like a pitcher shaking off a sign from his catcher. I was hoping, praying the other guy would go to $500. But nothing. Just silence. Jarvis looked at me as if to say, what did you do? but reluctantly called out, "Sold!"

Buyers remorse set in about 10 second later. What had I done? I shouldn't be allowed to bid at silent auctions. I get all caught up in the excitement, the competition. It reminds me of the time I was bidding on ebay for a Polar Express wooden train set. It was the hot item of the Christmas season, about 4 years back, and sold out everywhere. I had to have one for QB. As bidding came to a close, I was relentless. And I won! Jarvis brought me back to reality when he said, "Let me get this straight, you won the opportunity to pay double the retail price for this thing?"

Again, last night, he brought me back down to earth afterwards when he asked why in God's name I bid on the flight and reminded me, oh yeah, he hates flying in small planes. Oops. So if anyone wants to spend the day in Montauk with me, speak up.

Bon voyage.