My neighbor wouldn't walk down the street in that bikini for love or money, so why is she comfortable doing it on the beach? Sure, it's what everyone does, but showing your flabby belly is showing your flabby belly.
I'm not being a skinny snob. It's not that I think only people with model-quality bods deserve to wear swimsuits. Of course not. I just think we should all use good common sense. It's quite possible I'm just getting more and more conservative and crotchety in my old age. I no longer think the point of a beach outing is exposing as much skin as possible to collect every ray of sunlight.
Here's what I think: 60-year-olds, as a general rule, don't need to wear string triangle tops or crocheted bottoms. Men with enormous guts don't really need to opt for tight Euro trunks. There seems to be a rule of inverse proportion: the more people should cover up, the less they seem inclined to do so.
Another good rule of thumb: if there's only a 3 inch strip of swimsuit covering your ample rear end, it's not enough! There is absolutely nothing wrong with a nice cover-up.
I mean, really, what's the drawback to more modest attire? Not every inch of you will be as tanned or as (melanoma-prone) as your arms? I tell you what: wear the one-piece with the nice little attached skirt, buy yourself a bottle of self-tanner and everyone goes home happy. Problem solved.
Please, people, consider the visual affront to beach-goers exposed to body parts only a spouse should see. How about we not scar the children, okay?
All right, signing off now. I'm off to the beach. Fingers crossed.
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