Saturday, October 10, 2009

Pants That Piss Me Off

Okay, a lot of things get under my skin: people who throw litter out of their car. People who leave their cigarette butts on the beach for the rest of us to enjoy. People who run red lights just because they're too lazy to brake.

But this -- this is really annoying.



Have you seen these new corduroys from The Gap? I was looking forward to finding a comfy pair of cords this season, but it looks like I'll be as disappointed as a kid who gets educational toys on Christmas morning.

I mean, come on, people! They're skin tight and tapered, which makes even a normal-size rear look huge. And then they've produced them in this particularly hideous yellowish shade reminiscent of dog vomit. You'll be glad to know, though, that they're available in size 20. To quote Amy Pohler, "Really?" What bozo at the Gap decided these skin tight vomit colored pants are going to look good on someone who's a size 20? Or a size 8? (I'd bet good money it was a man.) The only people these leggings would flatter are the women modeling them and maybe a teenage competitive swimmer.

Since I'm neither a teenager nor a competitive swimmer, I'm not even going to try them on. Ha! Take that, Gap! (They'll be sorry.) I hope they have thousands of them unsold by season's end and have to unload them for $7.99 each.

And yes, I do have my cranky pants on today.








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