Camp Guilt

So summer camp has started for the kids. It rained literally something like 25 out of 30 days in June, so we had no idea if camp would even happen this week. (It's outside near the beach, no indoor facilities.) The kids are in heaven. They're spending their days with their pals in the water, on the playground, playing soccer and basketball, doing crafts, going on field trips, etc. etc.

Who knew I was supposed to feel guilty about all this good fun? Apparently, I am. There's a new form of motherhood recrimination: Camp Guilt.

I've heard rumblings about this in years past, but it seems to have reached a crescendo. More than one person, upon hearing of our (very modest) day camp plans, has said to my husband, "Well, your wife is going to have herself a great summer." Then a friend was griping the other day about how her husband's ex-wife (who is altogether unlikable, unkind and downright unmotherly) was sending her kids to "babysitting camp." She said this as if the mom was guilty of horrible neglect. I'd never heard this expression, never thought of camp as something to be ashamed of. Babysitting camp? I'm guessing it's all day. The horror.

Of course, the mommy war/guilt thing has raged for years. It's all about us women and our insecurities. I get it. Most of us feel torn about our choices and the stakes -- our kids' futures -- are unquestionably high. So any time we see someone making different decisions, we might feel conflicted about our own. But maybe we could draw the line here at whether our kids are at beach camp or at a soccer clinic or at home building a fort. It's summer, dammit! Relax!

You'd never here a man saying something like this to another guy, "Your kids are going to camp? What are you going to do all day?" But sure enough, another mom recently posed that question to me with the same disbelief as if I'd just told her I was spending the summer cruising the Greek islands. Let's see, I've got two kids, a husband, a small business and a novel in progress, but apparently that's not enough to justify a few hours without my kids by my side. I should have answered like this:

"Well, after I drop the kids, I'll work out, then shower, make breakfast, clean up every else's breakfast mess, write for a few hours, get a snack, throw in a load of laundry, maybe go for a walk, mow the lawn (not kidding!), do the grocery shopping and a few more errands, come home and put away groceries, get started on dinner, sweep the kitchen floor, pay bills, fold laundry, pick up kids, watch kids and inevitable play-date friends, make snacks, broker peace agreement between kids, supervise craft project, clean up kitchen again, get dinner on table, do dishes, fold laundry, do tub/pjs/brush teeth/games/stories/goodnight!"

That enough for you, lady? Sheesh.

I'll tell you what, I won't pass judgment on what your kids are doing this summer if you'll do the same. Deal?

Now let's go get a popsicle and chill.