Just One Day for the Girls

I prefer the original. This concept, as it was originally conceived in 1993 by the Ms. Foundation, was all about girls. And what’s wrong with that? 

Take our Daughters to Work Day was about combating low self-esteem in girls, which often plummets in adolescence. It was about helping girls visualize careers for themselves, away from the boys who most often were singled out for praise in math, science and technology -- a few of the fields that led to the most lucrative careers. In this case, separate was a means of working toward equal.

But of course there were objections. It wasn’t fair to the boys. The teachers wanted to structure some curriculum around the day, but that wouldn’t do if the event excluded half their students. The Ms. Foundation insisted it wouldn’t work as a co-ed program – when clearly boys and girls face very different constraints and opportunities -- but caved in to the pressure in 2003. Instead of creating a separate day for the boys – which I think would have been a much better solution – it became the diluted event it is today.

Here’s why we need an all-girls day. My 4-year-old daughter said to me recently: “Moms don’t go to work!” That horrified me on many different levels. I know another girl the same age who’s obsessed with weddings and loves pretending to be the bride. Many, many girls fantasize about princesses, and focus an inordinate amount of attention on their looks. My son, however, is debating whether he wants to be an architect, scientist or a writer. Boys, in general, have no problem envisioning themselves in a career.

Maybe this dichotomy exists in our particular home because my husband goes to an office every day and I meet the kids at the bus and make dinner. I also have a small business designing accessories and the kids have sat on the floor with me, helping package orders and sticking hundreds of price stickers on tags. But maybe they see that less as work, more as mom fooling around with the glue gun again. (And not in a million years would they believe that the job of raising them could be called work.)

One could argue that underprivileged boys need this event more than , say, upper middle class girls do. That may very well be true. But make it a different program. A different day.

I don’t worry about they boys. The unspoken messages they receive every day tell them that they should expect to have a stimulating career, that they can have any job they're willing to work for. Every president we’ve ever had has been a man. A vast majority of scientists and engineers and astronauts are men. An overwhelming majority of the top business execs are men. When half the CEO's are women, then we can talk.